Grief

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. – Helen Keller

I don’t usually post on weekends but in the past day, two tragedies have swirled around that really shook me. My friend Shawna’s Nana had two strokes and the infant daughter of a girl I went to college with died unexpectedly yesterday.

I think the mere passage of time and accumulation of experiences, like getting married and having very close friends have their babies has made me much more acutely aware of death. It’s around and making itself known in louder ways than even a few years ago when people I loved very much, like Brian’s grandfather, Al, or my very dear friend Greg, passed away. I have no words for how I felt when I learned that Shawna delivered her baby girl at the same hospital where two women recently died while giving birth.

Realizing that the “infinite youth” I assumed, is gone, is scary. People die. Babies die. Women delivering babies into the world can die. In hospitals.  Incredibly strong, sharp grandmother’s of my best friends have stokes.

But what options do we have here? I think that we can only choose to dwell on this inevitability or we can live. Personally, faith plays a huge part in my ability to do the latter.  There is something comforting about repeating the words to a prayer. But I also think on a scientific level, there is more to it than putting my hopes on “God.” For me, it’s positive thinking. That is my faith and that is what helps me to get through moments like these.